i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
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i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
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If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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