For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize