Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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