i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize