Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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