Can i not drive my cunt home
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
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We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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