I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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