I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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