Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize