Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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