one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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