I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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