Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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