I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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