Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize