It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize