So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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