I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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