We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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