she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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