Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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