The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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