So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
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You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
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What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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