theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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