You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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