weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize