Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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