I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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