Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
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Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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