I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
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I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
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You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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