I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize