I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
oh god the rape fog is back!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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