Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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