They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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