you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize