I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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