whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize