Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize