Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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