dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
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IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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