Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize