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And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
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