Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"

(1-415): View more from California

What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.

(415): View more from California

He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."

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(415): And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!" (1-415): What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy. (415): He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie." http://tfl.nu/chbe

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(504): View more from Louisiana

his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...

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(504): his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time... http://tfl.nu/szlj

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(805): View more from California

they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate

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(805): they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate http://tfl.nu/r0av

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(416): View more from Toronto

Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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(416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.

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(401): i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush. http://tfl.nu/l70n

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.

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(608): I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here. http://tfl.nu/1bbr

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(216): View more from Ohio

I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.

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(216): I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession. http://tfl.nu/2xsf

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

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(423): Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zkpt

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(515): View more from Iowa

Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many

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(515): Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many http://tfl.nu/90pg

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(518): View more from New York

I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!

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(518): I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING! http://tfl.nu/za5e

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(309): View more from Illinois

You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.

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(309): You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed. http://tfl.nu/qkqo

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(512): View more from Texas

My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"

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(512): My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!" http://tfl.nu/srq7

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(410): View more from Maryland

You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.

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(410): You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club. http://tfl.nu/mn4e

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is

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(306): For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is http://tfl.nu/ppgp

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(660): View more from Missouri

I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.

(1-660): View more from Missouri

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER

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(660): I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before. (1-660): THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER http://tfl.nu/zmd9

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