im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize