I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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