): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
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Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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