hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
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You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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