I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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