"it" just moved
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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