at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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