I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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